Thursday, July 29, 2010

Crack in a Cookie

Did I just say crack in a cookie?!?! Why yes! Yes I did! And it is perfectly legal. You can find my crack dealer at an local grocery store and he likes to hang out in the cookie aisle obviously. And he has pointy elfin shaped ears and goes by the name of Keebler! Keebler says these cookies are new, but I am certain they have just been keeping this cookie to themselves for years! They are Cheesecake Middles and they are heaven!

Those ever loving Keebler elves have created yet another crack induced product. I am quite certain if any one at Wal-Mart or any major grocery store chain took even one little nibble of this cookie they would create a separate aisle just for this little delicious nugget. The wouldn't even be able to keep them in stock because as soon as a truck would come in the stock clerks would be mauled as we cookie crackheads were trying to find our cartons of cookies. Yes these cookies are that damn good.
It is one of those cookies that you just can't stop at one and even though you try to hide them in the back of the cabinet or in the darkest corner of your attic or basement your mind can't help but drift to the next time you can eat one of these yummy cookies. It consumes your thoughts. And though I don't really have a crack addiction and never have, I do imagine this might be what it would be like. Though without the shakes and sweats. I don't recommend these cookies to any pot smokers though because you will eat the entire pack in one sitting and that wouldn't be good for your hips or your ass and the Obama administration is trying to get a handle on obesity...just saying. And The Biggest Loser is all about the Pound for Pound challenge so if you are taking part in that, well then you might just want to forget you ever saw this post!
Though I do think when I take Ava to visit Santa this year I am going to slip some of these yummies to the big guy so he brings me and Ava the biggest most bad ass presents ever. And I will be sure to leave him out a plate of them so he knows he has stopped at the right house. And I am pretty sure that will guarantee our names to also be right at the top of the nice list for the rest of our ever loving lives, even though these cookies have to be quite sinful and the work of those evil little elves. I am pretty sure though Rudolph will hate me next year since he is going to have a lot more weight to pull and it won't be from all the extra presents Santa is bringing Ava and me...might have to add another reindeer or two to haul the extra weight of Santa which will be christened with the names Ava and Mandi or maybe Crack and Cookie!
Well I'm off to write a new Christmas song about Santa and his new reindeer posse...but first I think I need to enjoy some cheesecake middles to get me in the writing mood!

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